I initially wrote these dot points for myself and never got them into a full post, back around mid september. I’m gonna leave them here and add some extra comments at the bottom.
I Liked going to the Con (not saying which one >:) )
I saw Ironmouse and really enjoyed it
A friend asked why I care about Ironmouse and I couldn’t explain why :(
Is this what ADHD is like? frustrating
Also saw a panel on becoming a vTuber myself, lots of useful info
do i want to be a Vtuber?
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less deadlines, more schedules i think
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ironmouse talked about not planning enough and shes the Big One atm
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budget options exist (PNGTubing, cheaper models, phone as cameras etc.)
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public speaking scawy
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total lack of online presence == do I actually care? (except website) (is this just the critic in my head or is it vaild)
Now here are my thoughts / review of the above:
The friend thing is, in hindsight, just crap. I know this guy and he’s just a contrarian who doesn’t like vtubers. It’s not always an explainable thing. I also don’t need to justify my stuff to him, just to myself. I think with the whole emotional blindness thing I struggle with the latter, so I default to trying the former.
Still considering Vtubing, but I’m not a very talkative person. I mostly came up with it because I’m really struggling with what I would usually call my main hobby (Game Dev). I set myself a little challenge/goal last week to make an absolutely tiny, 1 tower 1 enemy Tower Defence game, but I didn’t get very far. I’m not sure that this whole game dev idea is working for me at the moment. The ADHD is definitely the big factor i keep forgetting.
I want to expand a little bit as well on my comments about Ironmouse. Obviously she’s not the only or most important Vtuber or anything, but she is majorly successful, and during the thing I saw she commented on how she should plan more. As someone who struggles massively with planning it’s strangely comforting hearing someone that successful still struggling with that, and makes me feel like Vtubing/streaming generally is less hard on ADHD than the game dev i’ve been (not) doing.
On an ADHD note, I heard about a resource while I was walking today and it really isn’t hitting right for me. The Eisenhower Matrix I heard about is this 4-cell grid of tasks based on Importance and Urgency. My problem is I don’t really know what to fill it with? Like I understand I need to put my ‘tasks’ in there but what even is that? stuff i want to do? stuff I did today? It recommends simply not doing stuff that is Not Important and Not Urgent, but i already knew that? Like earlier today I was mindlessly browsing reddit and, on some level, I know I don’t want to waste that time when I could spend it A) productively on the website/game dev/doctor stuff/jobsearching/etc. or even B) on video games or something that, consciously, I enjoy more. the Reddit scrolling Simply Happens anyways.
Tags: Website Health Mental Vtubing ADHD
